At this very moment, my heart feels heavy of depression. No, not over an unhealed heart. Well not my heart anyways. But that of my angel, knight of shining armour *okay I'm overexaggerating* Arron Yan. Many of you may be thinking "well here she goes again, proclaiming her love to one she'd never even met. An idol who is 10 years (more or less) older than her and probably doesn't even know of her existence."
Truth is, you're right. But the reality of things is that, regardless whether or not I've met him, I truly do still love him. Sure, not in the way of a boyfriend or lover. But the fact that he is an idol, an upperclass man to me that I look up to and he had taught me a lot in life. Not by his songs, but by his past and his work efforts for his fans.
Down to earth as he is, he admitted "I'm unable to heal from my past relationship because I am the type to give my all to the person I love." His words, as peainful as it is, revealed that he too is human, to those who aren't cleared up about it in a first place. He too has a life. Many times, he's given his heart and had done everything in his power to make that person happy, yet at the end, he's the one getting hurt.
In this particular article/ interview, his ex had used him for his money and his title as a celebrity.
Knowing this, I now think to myself, why do people do that? Is it not right that they would know that if they were in the celebrit's situation that they too would be hurt. And to think that Arron gave up so much for that one girl only to be backstabbed because she wanted the advantage's of being a celeb's gf.
Well newsflash, there is karma in this world. Hurting someone so despicably even afer all that they've given you? Sure, I love him. All his fans love him. But I've learnt my lesson from the past, I wouldn't goo around claiming to love him enough to be his gf until I know for sure I love the Wu GengLin Arron in him. Not the crazy awesome singer/ star he's become. In fact, because I'd be doubting myself, unless he loves me back (in which case I'd be sure I knew him by then,) I would very much prefer to be a friend or a sister to him.
It's just...I understand why someone would do it. But it hurts me so much to see him like this, unable to love again.
Like I had mentioned before. I love Arron not only because of his talent and personality but because of the things he'd made me realize.
Today's lesson: Love like there's no tomorrow. But while receiving, live up to your committment and your words. You never know who might be watching. A broken bone heals with time but a broken heart is forzen in tears, scars and misery.
September 16, 2009
August 31, 2009
What I Want For Christmas
A list of fantasy gifts I want for Christmas (or anytime really.) Once read, you would know obviously that it's if I had the money or I could get it completely customized. Will be updated accordingly.
08.29.09
` music box that plays "MoMo" by Fahrenheit, lullaby ver.
-size: small, about the size of wedding ring case.
-mirror under top cover
-mini crystal that shines naturl light (placed on spinning platform)
-has a key and lock
- signed by Arron
-has name engraved on spinning platform
-much preferred in light pink (box)
08.29.09
` music box that plays "MoMo" by Fahrenheit, lullaby ver.
-size: small, about the size of wedding ring case.
-mirror under top cover
-mini crystal that shines naturl light (placed on spinning platform)
-has a key and lock
- signed by Arron
-has name engraved on spinning platform
-much preferred in light pink (box)
Angel Singing To Me
Recently I had finished composing my first song. The song is entitled "Angel Singing To Me." It was inspired by my most common source of inspiration, Taiwan's own boyband, Fahrenheit's Arron Yan.
Why I wrote this song? I don't really have a clue except that when I was washing dishes on night, because it's one of those things that only keeps your mind busy, I ended up thinking of lyrics.
Immediately after I had finished, I say down and wrote out the words resembling my feelings towards Arron.
The song's basic purpose is that I'm telling people the words I've always wanted to say towards this one person.
Everytime I listen to him sing, my heart goes ecstatic and it makes my day. His laugh, a cheerful laughter that tells you he's not holding back. It's a sign of happiness for me.
Him being my number one idol, I envy his voice, his talent and most of all, him being able to express himself or having the nerve to express his real thoughts regardless the public's opinion. He's able to be himself yet make the fans happy all in one. It's also the fact that he's constantly risking his health and putting his career before anything else. Proof of his exhaustion yet great amounts of effort are shown throughout his career in talk shows, news reports, constant visits to the hospital, during concerts, and most sacrificing of all, not being able to know about his grandfather's death in which his family had hidden from him for weeks.
I wrote this song based not on his life. But based on the way his voice effects me. A pure devotion to Arron's talent, not about his hard work, something that brings me to misery in which no words can describe.
Everytime I hear about his injuries, bad health conditions, lack of sleep, and emotional worries, my world plunges into darkness in which words can not comply. I shed tears for him, as do all his fans, in hoping one day he can do what he enjoys best without harm and knowing that no matter what, he has the support of us.
This song I wrote was a mere dedication to him, only 1000 words can even come close to my support and belief in him.
http://bonbonxlildevil.blogspot.com/2009/08/angel-singing-to-me.html (rough lyrics, had been changed from that time)
Why I wrote this song? I don't really have a clue except that when I was washing dishes on night, because it's one of those things that only keeps your mind busy, I ended up thinking of lyrics.
Immediately after I had finished, I say down and wrote out the words resembling my feelings towards Arron.
The song's basic purpose is that I'm telling people the words I've always wanted to say towards this one person.
Everytime I listen to him sing, my heart goes ecstatic and it makes my day. His laugh, a cheerful laughter that tells you he's not holding back. It's a sign of happiness for me.
Him being my number one idol, I envy his voice, his talent and most of all, him being able to express himself or having the nerve to express his real thoughts regardless the public's opinion. He's able to be himself yet make the fans happy all in one. It's also the fact that he's constantly risking his health and putting his career before anything else. Proof of his exhaustion yet great amounts of effort are shown throughout his career in talk shows, news reports, constant visits to the hospital, during concerts, and most sacrificing of all, not being able to know about his grandfather's death in which his family had hidden from him for weeks.
I wrote this song based not on his life. But based on the way his voice effects me. A pure devotion to Arron's talent, not about his hard work, something that brings me to misery in which no words can describe.
Everytime I hear about his injuries, bad health conditions, lack of sleep, and emotional worries, my world plunges into darkness in which words can not comply. I shed tears for him, as do all his fans, in hoping one day he can do what he enjoys best without harm and knowing that no matter what, he has the support of us.
This song I wrote was a mere dedication to him, only 1000 words can even come close to my support and belief in him.
http://bonbonxlildevil.blogspot.com/2009/08/angel-singing-to-me.html (rough lyrics, had been changed from that time)
August 13, 2009
"The Perfect Life"
Being a normal girl of the average, a girl that doesn't ask for fame or wealth, but a fan of one that aquires both of those qualities. I've noticed things that are unnoticable otherwise. Many have said that celebrities are mearly there for their own publicity. Is it true?
Being in the outside workd, away from the civilization known as the "Entertain Circle", what is it that really happens in there? Of course, like the rest of us, each has their own purposes and differences, but in a way, we're still all the same.But do we know that's the case for celebrities? How can we ever be sure? People say they can be certain when the words spoken, came out of the celeb's mouth themselves.But is that really the case? Can we really trust what they say behind their covers?
I mean, overall, even some of the most greatest fans of the life time have doubts about their idols. It doesn't matter though because some people simply believe that they know the celebrity enough to be foolish enough to trust them. I won't be hypocritical. I too am one of those people. I too have an idl whom I solely trust that brings us the best in him. He himself is very emotional even on camera which can bring us to 2 conclusions.
1) He really is greatly affected by the topic and his previous life stories.
Or
2) He's doing it for the sake of entertainment.
Now judging by my claim right now in my discussion, if you hadn't known that I am a huge fan of his, you'd think I'd say he's obviously faking it. Here's only to say that if any of us were in their situation, they would feel the same way about people constantly calling them fake.
Yes, they could be lying to us. But big deal, it doesn't really matter because it's not like you're their best friend or the one you're marrying, for all you know, you're just another human being on this world.We just as well would be lying to them for all you know. I mean, uneless you're in love with a brilliant singer who's hell ass ugly, then you wouldn't even know if you like them for their talent or plainly for their looks.
What I'm trying to say is that celebrities are there for a reason and though their reason might be something that we'd never guess, it's their reason, not ours. Everybody has their own little secrets, you would too. Everybody is different frmo one another, but if you were in their situation, you too would be itrritated if people started rumours about you.
Right now, some of you people would be thinking, "no, not me. I won't let a bunch of lies get to me." But really, don't you think the current celebs, the ones going through that, would have said the same thing from the very beginning.
My own idol now, constantly reports on his blog that people follow him around constantly and at times, his job is so sacrificing, that his family wouldn't even tell him about his own grandfather's death. It is normal for a celebrity to have sudden break downs and their own issues in life. But guess what, now they have to deal with making their friends happy at the same time. Being a celebrity isn't perfect, no life is perfect. Is it really that important for you guys to know everything about a person, every thought they have, everything they do? Can't you just give them a break for once? Secrets are meant to be secrets. Don't hate them just because they keep their personal lives away from you.
Either way, my point being, though stereotypically, celebrities have "the perfect life," most don't. Not only that, but they're also doing their jobs for their own living and for their fans. So if you're not a fan of theirs, you could at least stop nagging about them and take their feelings into consideration. You're not a fan? Okay, no one is asking you to be. But don't be an anti-fan and start messed up rumours about them (and some even go as far as food poisoning and attacking them), becasue truth is, their life isn't as perfect as you'd think.
Being in the outside workd, away from the civilization known as the "Entertain Circle", what is it that really happens in there? Of course, like the rest of us, each has their own purposes and differences, but in a way, we're still all the same.But do we know that's the case for celebrities? How can we ever be sure? People say they can be certain when the words spoken, came out of the celeb's mouth themselves.But is that really the case? Can we really trust what they say behind their covers?
I mean, overall, even some of the most greatest fans of the life time have doubts about their idols. It doesn't matter though because some people simply believe that they know the celebrity enough to be foolish enough to trust them. I won't be hypocritical. I too am one of those people. I too have an idl whom I solely trust that brings us the best in him. He himself is very emotional even on camera which can bring us to 2 conclusions.
1) He really is greatly affected by the topic and his previous life stories.
Or
2) He's doing it for the sake of entertainment.
Now judging by my claim right now in my discussion, if you hadn't known that I am a huge fan of his, you'd think I'd say he's obviously faking it. Here's only to say that if any of us were in their situation, they would feel the same way about people constantly calling them fake.
Yes, they could be lying to us. But big deal, it doesn't really matter because it's not like you're their best friend or the one you're marrying, for all you know, you're just another human being on this world.We just as well would be lying to them for all you know. I mean, uneless you're in love with a brilliant singer who's hell ass ugly, then you wouldn't even know if you like them for their talent or plainly for their looks.
What I'm trying to say is that celebrities are there for a reason and though their reason might be something that we'd never guess, it's their reason, not ours. Everybody has their own little secrets, you would too. Everybody is different frmo one another, but if you were in their situation, you too would be itrritated if people started rumours about you.
Right now, some of you people would be thinking, "no, not me. I won't let a bunch of lies get to me." But really, don't you think the current celebs, the ones going through that, would have said the same thing from the very beginning.
My own idol now, constantly reports on his blog that people follow him around constantly and at times, his job is so sacrificing, that his family wouldn't even tell him about his own grandfather's death. It is normal for a celebrity to have sudden break downs and their own issues in life. But guess what, now they have to deal with making their friends happy at the same time. Being a celebrity isn't perfect, no life is perfect. Is it really that important for you guys to know everything about a person, every thought they have, everything they do? Can't you just give them a break for once? Secrets are meant to be secrets. Don't hate them just because they keep their personal lives away from you.
Either way, my point being, though stereotypically, celebrities have "the perfect life," most don't. Not only that, but they're also doing their jobs for their own living and for their fans. So if you're not a fan of theirs, you could at least stop nagging about them and take their feelings into consideration. You're not a fan? Okay, no one is asking you to be. But don't be an anti-fan and start messed up rumours about them (and some even go as far as food poisoning and attacking them), becasue truth is, their life isn't as perfect as you'd think.
May 14, 2009
Happy Faces For Eternity! :)
An well, to put it simply, here's my intro for you.
My name is Bonnie. I have an epic, dramatic, and semi-horrible life. I started this blog in particular because all my posts on the other one were sad and extremely horribly complicated. I decided that maybe there are better things happening in my life... and if there were I can talk about it here.
Anyways was I was coming up with topics to write about when woopseys, they became debate topics. Well either way, same thing. This blog was originally created so that I was able to spazz out random stuff that randomly popped up in my head. (Stuff that wasn't as personal as the other blog was.) So either way... ttyls. :)
My name is Bonnie. I have an epic, dramatic, and semi-horrible life. I started this blog in particular because all my posts on the other one were sad and extremely horribly complicated. I decided that maybe there are better things happening in my life... and if there were I can talk about it here.
Anyways was I was coming up with topics to write about when woopseys, they became debate topics. Well either way, same thing. This blog was originally created so that I was able to spazz out random stuff that randomly popped up in my head. (Stuff that wasn't as personal as the other blog was.) So either way... ttyls. :)
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