At this very moment, my heart feels heavy of depression. No, not over an unhealed heart. Well not my heart anyways. But that of my angel, knight of shining armour *okay I'm overexaggerating* Arron Yan. Many of you may be thinking "well here she goes again, proclaiming her love to one she'd never even met. An idol who is 10 years (more or less) older than her and probably doesn't even know of her existence."
Truth is, you're right. But the reality of things is that, regardless whether or not I've met him, I truly do still love him. Sure, not in the way of a boyfriend or lover. But the fact that he is an idol, an upperclass man to me that I look up to and he had taught me a lot in life. Not by his songs, but by his past and his work efforts for his fans.
Down to earth as he is, he admitted "I'm unable to heal from my past relationship because I am the type to give my all to the person I love." His words, as peainful as it is, revealed that he too is human, to those who aren't cleared up about it in a first place. He too has a life. Many times, he's given his heart and had done everything in his power to make that person happy, yet at the end, he's the one getting hurt.
In this particular article/ interview, his ex had used him for his money and his title as a celebrity.
Knowing this, I now think to myself, why do people do that? Is it not right that they would know that if they were in the celebrit's situation that they too would be hurt. And to think that Arron gave up so much for that one girl only to be backstabbed because she wanted the advantage's of being a celeb's gf.
Well newsflash, there is karma in this world. Hurting someone so despicably even afer all that they've given you? Sure, I love him. All his fans love him. But I've learnt my lesson from the past, I wouldn't goo around claiming to love him enough to be his gf until I know for sure I love the Wu GengLin Arron in him. Not the crazy awesome singer/ star he's become. In fact, because I'd be doubting myself, unless he loves me back (in which case I'd be sure I knew him by then,) I would very much prefer to be a friend or a sister to him.
It's just...I understand why someone would do it. But it hurts me so much to see him like this, unable to love again.
Like I had mentioned before. I love Arron not only because of his talent and personality but because of the things he'd made me realize.
Today's lesson: Love like there's no tomorrow. But while receiving, live up to your committment and your words. You never know who might be watching. A broken bone heals with time but a broken heart is forzen in tears, scars and misery.
September 16, 2009
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